Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action by Northcutt Wendy

Author:Northcutt, Wendy [Northcutt, Wendy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

DARWIN AWARD: WAIT FOR ME!

Unconfirmed by Darwin

1998 A trio of Marine officers went ashore to explore an overseas liberty port. In the wee hours of the morning, after a night of too much wining and not enough dining, they returned to their once-classy older hotel and began to drunkenly explore its highways and byways. They wandered aimlessly through the halls until one of them, who we’ll call Curly, paused in front of two rococo wooden doors. He opened them and spied a delight: a dumbwaiter!

He alerted his companions, who we’ll call Moe and Larry. “Check it out, a whatchacallit!” Sure enough, his buddies saw that it was indeed one of them whatchacallits, and a big one too. So big that a Marine couldn’t help but wonder—if they scrunched up just a bit—two of them could squeeze inside and take it for a ride!

So they did.

Larry steadied the box while Curly crawled in and tucked his knees under his chin. Then Curly held the rope while Larry clambered aboard and settled into place. With a cheerful smile they released the rope, and with a whoosh they were gone!

Moe was astonished.

He lurched over to the opening, stuck his head into the shaft, and peered down through the darkness as the two men aboard the dumbwaiter fell to the earth like a ten-ton safe.

Kaboom!

They crashed into the bottom of the shaft, and their little wooden box exploded in a shower of kindling and splinters that was quickly obscured by a dirty mushroom cloud of rising dust and detritus that had lain there undisturbed since the turn of the century.

In desperation Moe cried out, “Are you all ri—” But before he could finish his question, the counterweight, torn loose by the crash, fell from the top of the elevator shaft and cut his query short.

Reference: Navy Safety Center Summary of Mishaps

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